Rejection Secrets Revealed!!!

Abby Zidle

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, writers of all ages, step right up.  Listen closely, and I will reveal one of the greatest mysteries of the editorial world...how to interpret that rejection letter!

I was clearing the decks of some submissions this week, and whipping out my rejections. While I do have a very bland form letter that my assistant sends to people who've sent unsolicited submissions, if I'm turning down material from an agent or conference attendee, I write a personal letter. But truth be told, even a personal no from me is still going to be fairly generic. I, like all editors, have an assortment of stock phrases I use to pass on a submission.  They sound specific, but in fact are just nice ways of saying "no."

I know writers can pore over these letters, looking to glean some small hint of why I didn't want to pursue their projects. But that's a waste of time, for a couple of reasons. First of all, no means no, and it doesn't really matter why. But secondly, my letters are generally not designed to be helpful, they're designed to be irrefutable. That is, I don't want an author to come back to me and say, "I did everything you said in your letter; now is it right?"

So, for the first time in print (or pixels, anyway), I reveal here my top five Generic Reasons for No, and what they really mean. Don't share this secret with anyone who won't give you money for it.

1. "You begin with an intriguing premise, but I didn't fall in love with the central narrative." = Good idea...but it fell apart from there.
2. "The pacing felt a bit leisurely." = This is boring.
3. "I didn't connect with the characters as intensely as I'd hoped." = I hated your hero.
4. "The story felt a bit familiar to me." = I've seen this a million times.
5. "I'm just not the best editorial champion for this work." = I just didn't like it. Either I can't really put my finger on why, or I thought it was really terrible but don't want to say that.

Of course, sometimes my personal letters really are personal; in that case, you can tell because I'll reference specific details from your story, I may suggest possible changes, and if I liked a lot about it, I might ask you to resubmit. But if I don't ask, know that you've hit the end of the line, and it's time to try a different editor. Just don't tell him I showed you the rejection Rosetta Stone.