It's Not You, It's Me

Abby Zidle

Most of my submissions come from agents, as you know, and most agents preface their submission with a phone call or e-mail pitch, to see if it's right for me (or sometimes to say, "This is your next book, I'm just calling to let you know it's on the way.").  In most cases, even if something doesn't sound like a book I'd buy, I tell the agent to send it over for a look.  I'd hate to turn down the next [Water for Elephants/Friday Night Knitting Club/what have you] without even reading a page, after all.

But sometimes, on some days...you just know.  I had an agent call me with a pitch the other day, and she was really excited about the material.  She told me it was a "sweet" novel, and that she thought it might have bestseller potential.  I must confess, I cringed at "sweet." I think my posts here have conveyed my general black-heartedness and curmudgeonly tendencies--or maybe I have to be surlier?  (Hey! You kids! Get off my lawn!) The way to my heart is definitely NOT through a heartwarming story told through (shudder) the eyes of a little girl.  So I told the agent no.

Could I be making a mistake? Sure? Was I influenced by the hellish backlog of manuscripts currently on my desk? Possibly. But really, what author out there wants the editor reading his book to be cringing inside at the thought of it?  I just told the agent, "You know, I'm the wrong reader for this. But thanks for thinking of me."

Now, if this were an agent who'd already sold me several projects, I might have said, "Yeah, go ahead and send it," because we've already determined that we have similar tastes.  But this particular agent and I have yet to connect on anything--primarily because we only met a few months ago--and she hasn't yet dialed in on my pet peeves enough to really know, "This is an Abby book."  So for all you unagented lurkers, this is the sort of thing a good agent can do for you--know who at any given house should be reading your book.  Since I said it wasn't for me, she's free to find the editor at Pocket who won't cringe, but will jump for joy instead.