Things I Love That Other People Hate
1. Black-and-white movies: What the heck is the problem with seeing something that might have been made before CGI? Was there Shakespeare before Leonardo di Caprio and Clare Danes? When Ted Turner colorized some of the MGM catalog, did young people suddenly think the movies had been made that year? Watch an old movie. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe you won't. I've got news for you: G.I. Joe probably isn't a perennial classic, either.
2. The New York Yankees: Yeah, they have more money than everybody else. Is there a certain overblown emphasis on tradition and a bizarre Kate Smith fixation? You bet. But watch the team play. They're really good, they're not arrogant, and they do things right. The new ballpark is sort of a Disney version of the old one, but the team still wears pinstripes that don't have player names on the back.
3. Books with laughs in them: I'm not really clear on why people like to be depressed, but they flock to the dark visions of life as if there were some comfort to be found in the knowledge that you at least have it better than some fictional character. Try and find a positive New York Times book review that doesn't contain the word "dark." Go ahead. I'll wait. Personally, I can get depressed on my own; I don't need help. So I'll stick with the funny. Those with a sense of humor, come over and sit by me.
4. Lawyers: OK, I'm biased: I'm married to a lawyer and my brother is a lawyer (in fact, he introduced us). But how come attorneys get all the bad press (and the tedious shark jokes) and your local insurance salesperson, who is probably paying the lawyers to come up with new arguments against paying your claim, gets to skate on by? Because he sends you a calendar?
5. Stupid dogs: Sure, it's interesting to see Lassie pull the sheriff out of the burning barn because she (really he) is so smart, but smart dogs are, let's face it, arrogant little bastards. The stupid ones, like my very own personal dog, are way more entertaining. Just the blank stare you get when you ask a question as simple as "do you want to go out?" can keep you in stitches for minutes. Hail to thee, stupid dogs!
6. Getting older: You want to say everything about it sucks? I'll completely agree, except for one thing: It unquestionably beats NOT getting older.
7. Paying for books, movies, songs and DVDs: Do I enjoy spending money when I have tuition bills to pay? Of course not. Could I get most of this stuff on illegal download sites for free? Sure I could. Why not? Because every sale is a little encouragement to the artist who created the work. Imagine if Vincent van Gogh had heard from a few of his more loyal fans every once in a while: "Loved the painting of the stars, Vinnie. Here's a couple of bucks; buy yourself some brushes." Van Gogh might still be alive today! (Okay, probably not.)
8. The word "Liberal": When did this become a slur? Some people will actually avoid saying the word "liberal," now, and refer to it as "The L Word." And I'm not talking about the Showtime series. I want "liberal" back. Unless you think new cookbooks should be edited to include the phrase "sprinkle conservatively with salt."
9. Superman: I know, I know--Batman is so... dark. Spider-man is so conflicted and sarcastic. But no other comic book hero was there when the guy in the blue pajamas started it all, or they'd be what he is--a positive hope for something better. A perennial boy scout? Yeah, you have to say he is. A barely-destructible character who's hard to write for? Yup. But the world needs Superman. The world likes the rest, but it needs Superman.
10. Music of the 1970s: The Sixties were, unquestionably, great for music. They also gave us the Strawberry Alarm Clock and "Strangers in the Night." I'm just pointing out, there is some lousy music in every era. No, the Seventies weren't all disco; in fact, there was very little. The era was actually much more notable for the singer/songwriters who came out of that decade, like James Taylor, Carole King, Jim Croce, Carly Simon, Paul Simon as a solo artist, and a lot of others. What some see as "wimpy," I see as something other than posturing. Listen to it. It's good.
Next week: Things I hate that other people love.
