"Say something funny."
What?
"Say something funny. You're the funny writer guy. Say something funny."
Asparagus.
"Asparagus isn't funny."
Sure it is! Humor is completely subjective, and I think asparagus is a riot.
"Well, I don't think so."
And that's your right. A lot of people think the Three Stooges are funny. To me, they look like three guys who should be locked up. It's all a question of taste.
"You're not making any sense."
You asked me to say something funny. Since when is that supposed to make sense?
"Well, you haven't said anything funny yet."
Neither have you.
"I'm not supposed to--I'm not the funny writer guy."
Well then, give me five dollars.
"What?"
Give me five dollars. I don't work for free. If being funny is my business, and you want me to say something funny, give me five dollars. I'll give you a receipt.
"I'm not going to give you five dollars to say something!"
Why not? Condoleeza Rice gets $150,000 to say something, and she's not the least bit funny.
"She used to be Secretary of State."
I used to be 40 pound lighter. It's all in how you look at it. Where's the five bucks?
"I'm not giving you any money. Just say something funny, already."
"Come on."
"I'm still waiting..."
"Okay. Here's the five bucks."
Thank you.
Asparagus.
