What was so great about sliced bread? I mean, was it THAT HARD to get a knife and cut it yourself?
How happy ARE clams?
Shouldn't Superman have been looking for a girl who was bright enough to recognize him even WITH glasses?
Why isn't the rest of Earth more like Disney World? I mean, after I get done having any experience whatsoever, I expect to end up in a gift shop, don't you?
If it's true that "if you can remember the Sixties, you weren't there," then why doesn't Rock N' Roll ever forget?
For that matter, how do we know that elephants never forget? Did someone ask the elephants? What if they forgot, and were just covering?
They say "nothing's older than yesterday's news." How about the news from the day BEFORE yesterday?
Why is it called Rhode Island? It's not an island.
How come people say they're going to get "the skinny" about a hot news item? What does that even MEAN?
If Joe Lieberman gets a proprietary project in his home state, can we still call it "pork?"
Why do TV networks assume I think I can dance? I KNOW I can't dance!
Isn't it time to rename the New Testament?
If a stand up comedian uses a chair, what do we call him?
When was the last time a Best Picture Oscar winner was fun to watch? (And if you talk to me about Slumdog Millionaire, I'm going to mention the abject poverty, the children being tortured and the overall sense of despair until the end--I'm not saying I didn't like the movie; I'm talking about it being FUN to WATCH.)
What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have to do with carpet sales?
What are Catches 1-21?
What if there was a playwright even BETTER than Shakespeare, but we never got to read his stuff because nobody bothered to publish it after it closed at the Globe?
What are late night comedians during the day?
How come non-fiction isn't called REALITY BOOKS?
Why aren't playwrights called playwrites?
And as the holiday season begins, one last question: How come the big Christmas songs are written by Jews?