One of the weirdest publishing phenomena is the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, a compilation of (extremely) short stories put together by motivational speakers and meant, apparently, to make you feel better, or something.
The series now has more than 100 titles, and has sold more than 100-million copies. You can't argue with success, and it's not my intention to do so here. But the title itself makes me wonder about the supposed therapeutic properties of chicken soup. I grew up in a Jewish household, where chicken soup was the treatment for everything from a hangnail to advanced disease, and felt that it never did me much good, especially if there wasn't enough salt.
But put the two ideas--chicken soup as an elixir of some sort, and untold publishing success--together, and I'm immediately wondering if other comfort foods couldn't be exploited in an analogous way to create an empire of feel-good books. For example:
Cocoa Krispie Treats For the Soul: For those who only want good news, you can't beat this. Impossibly sweet, with absolutely no real substance, they would include stories of puppies that didn't go through any tough times on the way to being adopted by loving rich people;
Wonder Bread For the Soul: Able to build strong souls 12 ways, these stories would be puffy and tasteless, including the tale of a regular kid who does regular things and ends up regular;
Haagen Dazs Ice Cream For the Soul: Naturally, this presents something of a problem, since the publisher (or the author) would have to secure the rights to the Haagen Dazs name in order to make the series work. And I'm more of an Edy's Slow Churned man, myself (or Thomas Sweets in New Brunswick NJ), but I'm told this is the go-to brand of premium ice cream when one's down. Not for the lactose intolerant, this series would be overpriced and a little self-satisfied, written about entitled heirs and heiresses who prevailed over the loss of a favorite au pair or saw their way through a crisis of morality, like having to decide against buying a Mercedes-Benz because of the Nazi thing;
Chocolate Chip Cookies For the Soul: Rich, indulgent and totally bad for you, this series would showcase the dark side of soul healing. It would be about those things that don't help at all, but feel really good while they're not helping. A typical story would involve a golfer who has at least fourteen affairs and then decides to take a drive at two in the morning;
Pancakes For the Soul: Flat, bland (without the maple syrup or interesting accoutrements), and over-praised , this series would be about finding the inspiration in everyday tasks, and you'd need at least three of them (a "short stack") before you'd feel any difference. The chapter on the non-stop thrill that is ironing would be a litmus test for a prospective reader;
And, finally, Mashed Potatoes For the Soul: A little lumpy, with some skin still visible, but completely loaded up with butter, sour cream, garlic and salt, this series would really hit the spot, while having no good effect on your psyche. But it would be more realistic than the other examples above; it would at least have a couple of bumps along the way. The parable about the writer of humorous mysteries who becomes an international sensation after years of struggle would be the keystone.
Happy 2010, everybody--let's hope we each get the food our souls are craving!
