Recently I was in my office doing very important things. Well, mostly I was debating on how long I would have a social circle- or for that matter, a marriage- if I began carrying an air horn to express displeasure. But that is important in its own way.
Then, my phone rang:
“Hi, this is a literary agency?”
“Yes.”
“So, like, um, you know, like, how does a book get published?”
I sent that poor fellow and his fresh arterial spray on his way.
But then I realized, there are truly so many questions out there about publishing and the answers can be so complex. If only there was an easy, pleasing guide for the newcomers to map out what to expect at a glance!
Something….
LIKE THIS!!!!!!:
Look at you! You wrote a book!
And now you found an agent!
Now the agent will take your book and pitch it to editors.
Hmm, no interest? Huh. The agent will push up some sleeves and go out on another round.
And maybe slug some vodka and go out on a third round.
And there will be more drinking and some crying (not you, the agent) until that one very special day- you get an offer to publish your book!
And after having little say on your cover, title, sometimes even your very NAME, a long and tremulous 18 months goes by while you are blogging and tweeting and calling alumni circulars and building your social media connections aaaaaand… your pub date arrives!
Well, actually, aaaaaand your pub date arrives.
Ta da! PUBLISHING!
SO there you have it. I am exhausted. I just did the most comprehensive exploration of publishing since Gutenberg was all, “Ich bin ein Printing Press!”
You’re welcome.
The Gee Dub
Baby Wombat of Terror
The Scourge
Death Kitten
