In about ten days I’ll be departing these shores for a few days to recharge my batteries in one of my favourite places: the island of Guernsey, which, for blog-followers not familiar with European geography, is a tiny place just off the coast of France but technically part of Great Britain.
It’s quiet, beautiful, and also the home of a couple of good friends, and I’m planning to do some chilling out and make inroads into the book mountain which seems to be growing on the coffee table in my living room.
But before I get my break from routine, I have to work. Guernsey Writers’ Circle have asked me to run a workshop on crime writing for them, and I’ve also, perhaps a little unwisely, agreed to give one-on-one consultations to anyone who feels the need.
Unwisely not because I don’t want to – but because I know what they’re going to ask, and I don’t have an answer. I’ve already been in e-mail contact with several people, and so far only one has indicated that she wants to discuss a piece of writing with a view to getting a fresh pair of eyes on it and moving it forward. The others all want the impossible, and I’ll never be able to convince them I can’t offer it.
They want to know the secret of how to break into the market: what ruse they have to employ to persuade an editor that they’re the best thing since Dan Brown. And although they protest that they know how hard it is, and that the only real way in is to keep writing and keep submitting, and even then it may not happen – deep down they still think there’s something I can tell them, some trick or strategy that I know about and would be willing to divulge to them alone.
Here are a couple of examples of what I’m talking about, taken from real communications I’ve received (though not necessarily the ones I just mentioned.)
I would like to talk to you about agents, introductory letters and synopses. I have read pages of advice and I don't know who or what to believe anymore.
I am seeking guidance on how to break in to the market. The publishing business appears to be very personal, and it is tough to strike up relationships with agents/publishers/editors and the marketplace.
The first one I can cope with. Every how-to book and magazine article gives different advice, and it’s enough to make your head spin. But the second… I’ve come to the conclusion that 90% of aspiring writers believe this. I’m allowed to say that, because for a long time I believed it myself. When disillusion came, it hit me like a car crash, and it took a while before I could climb back behind the wheel.
But some people go right on believing it no matter what evidence to the contrary is placed before them. They think someone like me has a magic wand which will unlock doors and touch readers’ minds. Well, I’m sorry, guys, but Alohamora only works in Harry Potter books, and J K Rowling was just talented. And in the right place at the right time. And in tune with her audience.
The simple truth is there are no secrets, no ruses, no magic wand. You have to be all those things. And lucky. All at the same time.
Now I have to figure out a way to convince people when I get to Guernsey.
