Barbara Poelle
Well here we are, the last Dead Guy post for me. It has been amazing. Here are a very few reasons why I will miss this:
10. I told Heather Snow to “pants the balls off of that proposal” and she knew EXACLTY what I meant. It pays to have been spouting nonsense in a public forum for two years; people start to be fluent in Poelle.
9. Sophie Littlefield adopted a shark for me and Stephanie Feldstein adopted a dugong for me. My bathtub would never be so full without Dead Guy.
8. Abby Zidle said reading my entries is like watching a living room full of people quietly chatting and drinking tea and then a deer smashes through the picture window. And then she made me a stamp that reads: UNLEASH THE DEER. And I do. Every chance I get.
7. Neil Nyren came up to me at an event (NEIL NYREN!) and made an INSIDE JOKE from my blog. I wanted to say something flippant and witty back, but instead chose to babble incoherently and then fall over a planter, which I think worked too.
6. Robert Lewis sent me a bottle of potato vodka and then a link about guitars because if I am going to allow Husband to have yet another musical instrument I will need some sort of buffer. And by buffer I mean martini. And by martini I mean 7.
5. CJ Lyons called me after reading I was having some sort of attack last February and walked me through everything I needed to get at the pharmacy. Janet Reid did the same thing, but all of her instructions had to do with the liquor store and the gun shop. So I went with Doc Lyons….well, OKAY, a little of column A, a little of column B.
4. Every time I was concerned I might need an intervention I would think to myself, “But will my blog be as funny if I am a teetotaler?” And it ISN’T! God bless the enabler, even if they are in the form of an audience of 11. (BUT ONE OF THEM IS NEIL NYREN AND SO HE SHOULD COUNT TWICE!)
3. Whenever something awful would happen to me, my clients, or colleagues I knew I could turn it into something we could laugh about the next Tuesday and it just made everything better.
2. No matter how many times I have begged and pleaded for the love of GOD for someone to write me an “it devours from beneath horror/thriller” no one ever has. OH WAIT- OPPOSITE DAY IS BACK ‘CAUSE THAT ONE IS NOT AWESOME. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!?!
1.5 Holly Root dressed as me for Halloween. Okay, that didn’t have anything to do with the blog, but was pretty much the awesomest thing ever. She made me swear by punishment of horrible torture not to blog to you guys about it and I am terrified of the Death Kitten unleashed, but COME ON! YOU NEEDED TO KNOW RIGHT?!?!? I won’t share photos, because there is just too much happening in them to preserve anyone’s dignity, but all I can say is: LEGENDARY.
1. Every Tuesday my husband would wake up and say, “I am so excited to read your blog today!” And if that ain’t true career/life blending, nothing is.
Thank you for a wonderful two years of allowing me to unleash the deer. Looking forward to reading my dear friend, the ever genius, effervescent, wildly successful MICHELLE BROWER coming to a Tuesday near you in 2011. Best Wishes for a Happy and Safe New Year!
