Authors are quite often called upon to speak in public, and I don't just mean like people do on the streets, on commuter trains and in supermarkets because they're wearing a Bluetooth. We are, after all, one step short of desperate to promote our books, and people who are not authors believe (for reasons that defy explanation) that we have something of import to say.
Now personally, I love speaking to groups of people. Maybe it's the latent traces of ham actor in me (I gave up a very unpromising career after high school) or my never-realized (because of abject terror) desire to perform standup comedy, but I like the attention and I like getting a reaction from an audience. I do the same thing in books, only one person at a time, and I'm rarely there to see it.
Still, I'm told that for many, public speaking is literally a nightmare (that is, they dream about it, and it doesn't go well). A poll conducted some years ago indicated it was most people's #1 source of anxiety, coming in ahead of death itself, which prompted Jerry Seinfeld to note that meant at funerals, most people would rather be the corpse than the guy delivering the eulogy.
So with that in mind, I'd like to impart what I've learned about public speaking. No need to thank me; it's part of the service we offer here at DEAD GUY.
Speaking Tips From a Public Nuisance
1. Don't open with a joke. That is, don't open with a joke if you're not funny. I don't care what you've heard from countless advice-givers on the subject. If you don't get a rush of adrenaline from hearing people laugh at what you've said and if you know you don't have comic timing, do not try to be funny. Not only will it bomb; it'll kill your confidence for the whole speech and make your audience wonder why they showed up.
2. Do start with something that grabs the attention. Authors--especially those who write fiction--know the value of starting with a jolt. The audience is now engaged, they have something to think about, and they're wondering what comes next. Think of the speech as a story you're telling. How would you go about hooking the reader?
3.Tell stories. Don't just illustrate your point with quotes from yourself (yawn) or statistics (snore). You're a storyteller; that's why they invited you. Do your thing.
4. It's not all about your book. The point of the talk is for you to sell more books. I know that; you know that. Now, forget it. Your audience doesn't care whether you sell more books. They care about being entertained and interested. Engage them. Talk directly to them. Ask them questions. Take questions later.
5. Make your talk about something. Have a topic other than, "I have a new book out; buy it." Think about something in your story that relates to a larger issue. Not necessarily a Big Important Issue. I've done talks on the Marx Brothers and classic comedy as well as on Asperger's Syndrome. I'd give talks now on paranormal activity, but I honestly don't know anything about it. I write ghost stories.
6. Remember you used to be an aspiring author. Remember it because no matter where your talk is being held or what the context might be, there will be at least one--and probably several--aspiring authors in the audience. They're going to ask you how to get an agent. Whether you think self-publishing is the same as being published by a big company. They'll ask you to read their manuscript. You have to keep your cool head, answer honestly and politely--and never read their manuscript. Ever.
7. Have a bottle of water handy. Maybe you're not thirsty before the talk is to begin. Maybe you're concerned that you'll have to pee in the middle of the talk if you drink water. It doesn't matter. They'll offer you a bottle of water--take it. It makes a great prop and gives you a moment to think when you go up on your lines or when someone asks you to read their manuscript.
8. Don't write out a speech ahead of time. If you're the kind of writer who outlines, you might want to bring a few cards with notes on them, but don't ever write the whole thing out and read it. There are few things duller on the planet. Remember last night when that actor and actress had to read the teleprompter lines they had clearly not rehearsed? Consider that they're professional actors and it still sounded terrible.
9. Sound confident, especially when you're not. You're one of those who'd rather be in the coffin? Too bad--you're still alive and you've agreed to do a talk, now get out there. And it doesn't matter if you really feel like you know what you're doing or not--you have to give your audience the impression that you do. If they believe it, it won't matter what you think. And you might sell some books.
10. Pick a short excerpt to read. You'll be expected to read from your work. Now as much as I like public speaking, I hate reading from my work. I'd gladly pay someone who's good at it to read from my work when I'm called upon to do so. But the key is not to go on for ten pages of small print when two or three would easily get your point across. I know there's a real great line coming if only they'll sit through the next two pages of set-up, but is that really worth it? Do you want to alienate your audience by dragging it out? Yes, they want to know what your book is like, or they wouldn't be here. But let them find out the way they usually discover a writer--by reading it. Get to your point, and stop.
And if anyone would like to have E.J. Copperman come to discuss the upcoming AN UNINVITED GHOST or NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEED, or for me to discuss anything I've ever written at all, feel free to get in touch.
