1. Best Enterprise captain? Kirk.
2. Best band? Beatles.
3. Best Bond? Connery.
4. Best director? Hitchcock.
5. Best team? Yankees (I'll allow for bias here, plus 27 championships).
6. Best Yankee? Gehrig. Seriously. Look up the numbers; they're frightening.
7. Best computer? Apple.
8. Best state? The one you live in.
9. Best religion? No such thing.
10. Best political party? Independent.
11. Best American president? Lincoln.
12. Best stand-up comedian? Cosby.
13. Best television comedy? The Dick Van Dyke Show.
14. Best writing method? Yours.
15. Best American novel? That's a stupid question.
16. Best novel ever? See previous answer.
17. Best movie? There are literally hundreds.
18. Best Beatles album? Rubber Soul.
19. Best Marx Brother? Harpo.
20. Second best (very close to being best) Marx Brother? Groucho.
21. Best Marx Brothers movie? Any from ANIMAL CRACKERS to DUCK SOUP.
22. Best current screenwriter? Aaron Sorkin.
23. Best screenwriter ever? Bill Goldman or Ernest Lehman.
24. Best action movie? RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.
25. Best STAR WARS movie? STAR WARS. No, there's no such thing as A NEW HOPE.
26. Best sport? Baseball.
27. Best sexual position? In favor.
28. Best actor? Bogart.
29. Best actress? Not sure there's just one. Hepburn (K.), Jean Arthur, Blythe Danner... I could go on.
30. Best TV drama? The West Wing.
31. Best Hitchcock movie? NORTH BY NORTHWEST.
32. Best ice cream? Why, is there a bad one?
33. Best current TV show? The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
I'm sure no one disagrees. Right?
