Tomorrow, in case you haven't seen enough card, candy, and jewelry commercials yet, is Valentine's Day, and I'm going to let you in on the secret, romantic plan my wife and I have made for the day.
We're not doing anything special.
I know; you're envious. Especially if you're a man, and the pressure on you to provide "her" (they never say who "she" is, which confused the hell out of me when I was single, because I figured they knew and weren't telling) with a romantic gesture that will knock "her" socks--and probably other garments--off is tremendous.
This year, the two of us will be marking a number of significant milestones in our lives and our relationship. And we've decided mutually that being told when we should feel especially romantic about each other is, in a word, stupid. We're not paying extra at a restaurant because it's February 14. We're not indulging in gifts to remind each other how we feel--if we can't do that on our own, perhaps our relationship has bigger problems. And we're not succumbing to the conventions of a society that bases all its emotions on a profit margin for some retailer or another.
Besides, I teach in Philadelphia on Tuesdays, and I'm not home until late.
Personally, I've always resented the idea that the calendar should dictate my mood. I'm not jolly in December, for any number of reasons that make perfect sense to me. I'm not especially spooked out at the end of October, but I do enjoy candy. I don't have a particular taste for turkey in late November, but I'll go along with the crowd on that one because not much is expected of me. Patriotism in July? It's too hot. But I do like fireworks; they're fun to look at.
I love my wife pretty much all the time. She knows it, or she really hasn't been paying attention, and she's too smart for that. There is no point in indulging in anything with a red ribbon on it, or flowers that were half the price on February 13 and will be again on February 15.
We're not completely ignoring the sentiment, but we're bending it to our own preferences. If you're looking for us on May 12, you'll probably get voice mail.
That's the anniversary of the day we met. A considerably more significant date in our history.
Happy February 13, everybody. Feel free to feel any way you feel today.
Because tomorrow, they don't want you to have the choice.
P.S. Pitchers and catchers report in 6 days.
