I really want to give Jeff Cohen a shout out today for his post on the 13th. In my own life, I have three beautiful boys. My oldest is ten and my twins are eight. My ex and I split five years ago. It was by no means a pleasant split, but wasn’t as bad as some go. Mostly it went ok because I didn’t fight for the things I wanted – namely more time with my boys. I wanted 50/50 time, but our arrangement for the last five years has been more like 35/65. I asked for more time, but my ex always refused. And unfortunately, I have no legal rights. I was not the biological mom. So it doesn’t matter that I was there for every single appointment from the fertility treatments to every doctor appointment until my oldest was three. Didn’t matter that I was a stay at home mom for almost two years and that I paid support when we split. When my ex said she would fight me if I got a lawyer, I believed her and for five years I followed that path of least resistance.
But frankly, I couldn’t keep walking that path. So I retained a lawyer and I am fighting for my rights. And this is the upside. My three boys have two moms who love them more than anything in the world. Two moms who want the best for them. Two moms who want to nourish their minds and their souls and their hearts. Isn’t that amazing? I hope that one day it won’t matter if a kid has parents of the same gender. It will only matter if they are loved.
Thanks for sharing your story Jeff. It means a lot to those of out there who are living those situations every day.
And on a lighter note, Bouchercon was awesome as always. It was loud and exhausting and fun. It was missing the presence of Erin, but I can verify she was there in the hearts of many people there, including mine. Looking forward to Left Coast Crime and Malice Domestic. Of course next year’s Bouchercon in New Orleans will be rocking.