A Modest Goal

Jeff Cohen

I've decided to write the funniest novel in history.

Now, be advised: Said novel could be years, perhaps decades, away. I don't have the idea for the story yet. Don't know who the main character is, nor what he/she/it will be faced with. But the decision has been made, and no power on Earth can reverse it. Unless I decide not to.

It's just that at some point in life, a writer has to identify the one thing that he/she/it truly wants to accomplish, and aim at that. And while I adore being an almost-totally-obscure writer of "humorous cozies," I've managed that, and feel perhaps I should reach a little higher.

So I've decided against that "Great American Novel" thing, since I really haven't a clue what anybody means by that, and at my age, have given up on being the next great comedy screenwriter. At 51, it seems silly to try to compete with Judd Apatow to see who can get the most dialogue about sex into a movie and still have critics say it "has heart."

Nope, it's the funniest novel in history; that's what I'm shooting for. And it's a lofty task, but I think I'm up to it. After all, the vast majority of novels (the ones that I've read and heard about, anyway--there are gazillions more) are depressing as all get-out. How someone can spend months, sometimes years, writing a story that will inspire suicide in its readers--thus cutting down seriously on the audience for a sequel--is beyond my comprehension, but there you are. I'm going for counter-programming.

Of course, first I have to decide what it's about, and then let the story cook in my head, and write it. Hopefully, my agent will find it both hilarious and marketable, and then find a publisher willing to turn his/her/its back on the trend and say, "Nah, forget horribly depressing! We're going for hilarious!" 

And then I can cash the check and move on to the next thing. 

Oh MAN! I'll have to get ANOTHER idea after I write the funniest novel in history????

Maybe I should rethink this.

Meanwhile, a sincere and heartfelt thanks to all who contributed a vote and helped get IT HAPPENED ONE KNIFE nominated for a Lefty Award (funniest mystery of the year)! This is the second consecutive nomination for the Double Feature series, and extremely gratifying for the author (that's me). I'm really flattered and hope that this year, the book actually takes the award. I won't actually be at Left Coast Crime (Hawaii is just too high a budget item while paying college tuition), so I figure that ups my chances, because it's just my style to win an award if I'm not there to accept it.

Still, if you're headed for LCC and you get a vote, please consider KNIFE. And thanks again for the help.

Comments

[lianabrooks.blogspot.com]

Jeff, I adore your writing, but the funniest novel in history? That is a *huge* goal. Putting you in the pantheon with Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, and Bill Watterson. I'm looking forward to reading this new piece with relish. Go write all ready!

[Lartonmedia]

Congrats on the nomination, Jeff!

[Fiona]

Congratulations on the nomination, Jeff. You surely deserve it.

As for writing the funniest novel in history--you are up to the task. Just keep us supplied with your "merely" hilarious and wonderfully written books until then.