Traiting Up

by Barbara Poelle

Maybe you can help me with something. And by something I mean preventing my husband from throwing either himself or me from the George Washington Bridge.  Here’s the deal:  I am not what you’d call “fashionable” or maybe even “pulled together” or perhaps “bathed”.

I don’t have time for such frivolities.

But what I do have is this habit of winding a lock of hair around my index finger as I read.  And perhaps as you might imagine, in my job, I read from time to time. But sometimes, much to my chagrin, my hair is pulled back with a hair elastic and I cannot get at that favored strand.  In order to release the mane for the appropriate twistosity,   I must remove the hair band and place it delicately next to me, on whatever surface is handy.

Now apparently these small, black elastic ovals peppering our lovely home create some sort of white hot anger in my life partner.  I am not sure why. But I can say that, on average, once a week he will storm into whatever room I am in and go very quickly and very passionately through the seven stages of grief while clutching one of these elastics.  It is a truly fascinating thing to behold. I have never seen anything quite like it. Last Monday he came into the bedroom holding one at about shoulder height and kind of shook it menacingly and said, “This has GOT to stop. This has GOT to stop.”  And then proceeded to both inflate with defiance and wilt in defeat all at once.

 It was almost beautiful.

So in my infinite wisdom (oh, it is infinite) I said to him: “If I died, you would be so touched every time you found one of those”.

He was, uh, nonplussed, to say the least.

 (OMG, I have NO IDEA what nonplussed means, I have just always wanted to say the phrase, “He was nonplussed, to say the least”. That was so awesome, it felt like I was getting away with something, like buying $.25 worth of Laffy Taffy with a quarter I found on the ground outside of Super America.)

Anyway, despite the nonplussing, it got us talking about quirks, and I realized that quirks are the traits that make characters. And the more individual the quirks are, the more solid the character. They can be as clearly stated as Adrian Monk, or as subtle as Miss Marple. I mean, who doesn’t love the fact that Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes or that Arnold Drummond needs clarification on Willis’s thought processes? That is what makes them characters.

There is plenty of opportunity for us to steal from everyday life to enhance fictional characters and give them layers. Take for instance my sister (please). This is a woman who got ALL of the looks and ALL of the brains, but when she is reading something and really contemplating it, she drums her fingernails on her front teeth. Holy Christmas and the Easter Bunny, have you ever heard a woman drum her fingers on her front teeth for the length of Stephen King’s IT? No, no you haven’t. Because we would have met in the support group. But what an awesome trait to give a character. (That is the second “awesome” this blog. Third time’s a spanking.) Then I started thinking about how when we all used to sit down to watch a family movie together my dad would pull his socks off to the point where they just covered his toes and how my mom loves shoe string potatoes to the point where I think she may have killed a man in Reno just to take his fries.  (That is the single funniest thing I have ever said. I can’t stop laughing.)

And Husband, don’t even GET me started on Husband, he has this obsession with post-its.  This is a man who owns two palm pilots, a calendar and an iphone, and still, he covers every surface, both horizontal and vertical, with notes to himself. (Sometimes I add, uuhh, shall we say, some “blue” to-dos. Really funny when he sees them on the ‘fridge. Really horrifying when Holly Root does.)

About a year ago, I asked one of my authors who was struggling with book 2  to write down 20 character traits about their protagonist that may or may not be clearly stated in the work. The most amazing things appeared on this list that then allowed the author to understand the whys and hows of their character’s motivations. I am not going to share the exact discoveries, because then I would be no better than that dude in the weird mask who exposes magic’s secrets,  but I will tweak them a bit to demonstrate:

[character] is afraid of frogs

[character] always has some shade of the color red on , toenail polish, underwear, etc

[character] has never had a relationship last for longer than 6 months

 Do you see what you can pull from that? Now imagine 20 of those. You can shake open the fiercest fist of writer’s block with 20 traits, because you can write a short story on just the underwear and the frogs and the 6 month relationships (that just described every year of college for me) so you can open any chapter with that.

Nobody wants to read plots. Everybody wants to read characters. So make them readable.  Make them interesting. Make them secretly cut out pictures of dogs in clothes, make them afraid of ice cubes, make them murmur the lyrics to “Baby Got Back” when nervous. Or best of all, make them leave their hair binders peppered around the house and make their Husbands love them more, not less, because of it.

(uhh, do you think that worked? I hope so, because I need to read this proposal and my hair is tied back…..)

Comments

[Pepper Smith]

nonplus--completely perplex; confound, puzzle, confuse, shock; colloq. faze, flummox.

Nothing like character quirks to make a character seem like a real person.

[husband]

Every hair binder I find will now be cut in two.

[Barbara Poelle]

This is WAR, Peacock!

[Maria]

Fray or stretch one portion of the hair binders--it's far more irritating because the wearer must then decide if it will hold...or not. If you try to use it, it might snap...or not. It might stay in place or snap at the most inconvenient time...or not.

[Barbara Poelle]

Okay, I see it now, Maria. I see it now. I see where your allegiance lies. The lines have been drawn people. Next stop: Thunderdome.

[Lauren]

Hair elastics are a very essential piece of what makes the world go round. I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere. I have an assortment of hair elastics AND post-its. The post-its get stuck to the cats and then become their playthings, and I find my own handwriting balled up under the couch or (once) in the litter box.

For character traits, though, did you ever see "What Would Your Character Do?" by Eric and Ann Maisel?

[Maria]

HAH! The race is on...winner gets...HOT FUDGE SUNDAY!!!! Watch for ambush...

[designsbystephy]

Hair elastics left laying around in my house are stolen by the cat, who plays with them for about 15 minutes, and then they disappear. I'm sure someday we will move a piece of furniture and find a million hair ties.

Whenever I am stuck on a character while writing, I try to think of something unusual about them (like a quirky trait) and write about it. Even if I don't actually use that piece in the story, it usually helps me get unstuck.

[Binky]

Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, 1984: "...along with tapping of teeth while intensely concentrating, indicates profound creativity and intelligence. May also be marked by rational fear of circus performers."

[Jamie]

Don't let him cut the elastics! They're like the second sock that disappears in the washing machine. Once they're gone, they're gone for good.
Tell him it could be worse. I once went on a short-lived earth mother phase where I was saving black bananas to make banana bread. HB put an end to it when we arrived home to clouds of fruit flies. Sometimes I wonder why these guys stay married to us!

[www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawlPQTJeu8Vx6HvC6qdOQ28pfW7xd-KMdPQ]

I am doing this right now... my three main characters are getting a list of twenty character traits... thank you so much this is going to help me tremendously!

[Account Deleted]

LOL. Thanks, Barbara. This made me giggle and I needed to! Very witty.

[Sonya]

At this very moment, I have a black elastic hair binder looped on two fingers of my right hand. I have two sizes - finger and wrist. The wrist size is currently holding my hair back.

You might consider using this technique (doubling your hair binders as fabulously attractive accessories, complete with small bits of hair knotted on them) - they aren't lost as often, and it would cut down on the number of binder homicides in your house. :-)

Also, thank you for the excellent post. I happen to be writing a book 2 at the moment, and the trait exercise will be wonderful for it!

[theo]

I think I have the solution! Why don't you stick your hair ties to the fridge using the LP's post its? That way, you won't lose them as much and he'll...well, I don't know, but it's a thought. :)

[www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawl5XTNInPrvzIpqKbPpwioulnOztSyR9BI]

Sooooo good, and I had to laugh because my daughter has the same hair band fetish. 50 of them around the house in some form or fashion, and yet she can never find one. Same thing with earrings, oddly enough. One comes off and lands on the desk, she walks across her room and the second one lands on the nightstand. I now have a teenage daughter character in my current wip and she's benefiting from my daughter's weirdness.

Not showing my google account above for some reason, so fyi I'm sharlascroggs.blogspot.com

[Kim Kasch]

I'd like to do a little Traiting Spaces and switch some of my freakisms for yours.

Hair ties aren't so bad, try having stacks of books everywhere and papers you want to get to but haven't. Luckily my husband is nonplussed by the mess I leave behind ;)

But I won't be letting the red or the blue time into my house any time soon - not without a thorough cleaning first.

[www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawl3RdEB7kANdwvVLg7Uo7wFHtMFH1OIoog]

Holy guacamole. I so rarely laugh out loud, and I did no less than three times during this blog post.

I have the same hair-twisty habit, same hairband problem, and a post-it partner. Hmm... I think I'm you, but not as funny.

[www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawl3RdEB7kANdwvVLg7Uo7wFHtMFH1OIoog]

Oops... I have no idea what's up with the google account thing. I'm 10:09 above, also known as Nixy Valentine of http://www.nixyvalentine.com/

[Behler blog]

I haven't laughed this hard since I tripped over a stack of manuscripts. I feel like you've just traipsed through the cobwebs of my life. Great stuff.