By Inga VonPeepenskeeven
Well, I have once again been reassigned to Ms. Poelle at Irene Goodman from my temp agency, Sullivan Associates. Let’s just say the bloom is off the rose for us over here. But I am trying to stay positive. She asked me to write her post for this week as she is “knee deep in submissions” (read: neck deep in vodka) and she told me to “make it in the holiday spirit.”
Her wish is of course, my command.
On the first day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the second day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the third day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the fourth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the fifth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the sixth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the seventh day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the eighth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“What do you mean: rude?”
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the ninth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Can’t think with my nails wet”
“What do you mean: rude?”
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the tenth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Google How to Snout Pet”
“Can’t think with my nails wet”
“What do you mean: rude?”
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the eleventh day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Give me your nylons”
“Google How to Snout Pet”
“Can’t think with my nails wet”
“What do you mean: rude?”
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And grab another case of Chopin”
On the twelfth day of Temping the Serpent hissed at me
“Why are you crying?”
“Give me your nylons”
“Google How to Snout Pet”
“Can’t think with my nails wet”
“What do you mean: rude?”
“Refill my Xanax”
“For this you had to wake me?”
“Get me Dolly Coooooooot!”
“Who is Dan Brown?”
“You don’t need stitches”
“*@^$!*%#*!”
“And graaaaaaaab another caaaaaaase of Choooooooopin!”
Take it from someone who knows: Inga had it coming.
Posted by: Dolly Coot | December 15, 2009 at 10:21 AM
Oh, poor Inga. Love it!
Posted by: Alli | December 15, 2009 at 10:23 AM
Bravo, Barbara!
(Pssst, Ms Coot...Over here... Does she ever scare you? I mean she's brilliant and funny, but...her mind, the way it works...I dunno, sometimes she scares me...)
Posted by: Paula Matter | December 15, 2009 at 10:58 AM
Hey Inga, glad you made it back. I thought perhaps your absence suggested inpatient counseling.
Posted by: Keli Scrapchansky | December 15, 2009 at 11:31 AM
"give me your nylons"
Posted by: SnoutPetter | December 17, 2009 at 06:27 AM