Slightly revised: Things I Don't Care About

Jeff Cohen

1. Tiger Woods, on the golf course or off;

2. Every reality show ever produced;

3. What you need to prevail in your Facebook game;

4. Who judges on American Idol;

5. American Idol;

6. Lady Gaga;

7. Chelsea Clinton's wedding;

8. The angry flight attendant;

9. The Twilight series;

10. Romantic vampires generally;

11. Mad Men;

12. Eat, Pray, Whatever (movie OR book);

13. Crocheting;

14. Levi Johnston and/or Bristol Palin;

15. Whether or not that guy found Ansel Adams's negatives;

16. Inception and/or Avatar;

17. Watching movies on your phone;

18. The Chicago White Sox;

19. Every beauty pageant in history;

20. Who gets cast in the Stephanie Plum movie;

21. Whether or not the James Bond franchise survives;

22. Derek Jeter passing Babe Ruth on the all-time hit list (for #38?);

23. Any ice cream that doesn't have at least some chocolate in it;

24. The impending football season;

25. Al Pacino in The Merchant of Venice.

Bonus: Every sport except baseball.

What do YOU not care about? (Keep in mind, I'm not saying these are things I dislike, just that I don't care about them. Well, to be fair, there are a number of them I don't like. But not all.)

Comments

[twitter.com/trow125]

I was OK with your list (though I reluctantly admit that I did see "Eat, Pray, Love" over the weekend) until you got to #23. Sorry, but pistachio is the greatest of all the ice creams.

Things I don't care about: whether the "Lost" DVD box set special features answer any questions, Oscar speculation before the nominations are announced, which food trends bloggers/Yelpers are into, whether or not Jennifer Aniston ever has a baby.

[Sarah W]

Your list is pretty comprehensive, but I'd add:

a. The size, relative or absolute, of Jessica Simpson.

b. The Obesity Epidemic, booga-booga

c. Anti-age anything

d. Brangelina, or any other celebrity merger

e. Football

f. The Gosslin Family (I don't even care if I spelled the name right)

g. Movies in 3D

h. Going to work this morning (

My husband just called me on the last one: he says I actually care greatly about *not* going in to work this morning. Can't argue with that. . .

[Mare F]

I've pretty much got your back on the entire list except for the crocheting, but then I get paid to do that.

[twitter.com/George_Allwynn]

WOW - have you guys been reading my thoughts?

(*places aluminum foil wrap helmet on head to block the transmissions)

I will add to the "Things I don't Care About" list:

* most of today's so-called music

* all of the current televisions shows EXCEPT the Big Bang Theory

* most of the news - local and national (and the non-personalities of most news anchors)

* most anything put out by the New York publishers (go Indie and E-books!)

* What's new on the McDonalds (or any fast food chain) menu

* Most of the opinions of my conserative extremest neighbors

* How white I can get my teeth

* Anything that is advertised in an infomerical

* SPAM - both in mail and the (uh-hum) meat product.

[Dru]

Your list is almost spot on and I would add..

-The antics of baseball players on and off the field
-The news
-Phony people
-Working 9 hours and commuting 3 hours

[Carol]

Add to that list:

Paris Hilton
Award Shows
Game Shows
TV Evangelists
What's hot in the fashion world
Movie stars' romance triangles
Who hoards what and why

[Jonathan E. Quist]

Two additions:

The identities or current status of the cast of Friends.

Anything related to Sex in/and/around/beneath The City.

[Gayle]

I think we must have been separated at birth.

[Carrie]

I must be the adopted child in this family, because I think all these things are interesting on some level.

Eat Pray Love isn't my flavor, so to speak, but it does illuminate, in rather stark terms, the Western conception of self and of the third world. So, you know, it's interesting. And I'm sure it functions rather beautifully as middle class white lady porn, and, you know, I'm not going to hate on that. We all have our vices. And hey, I'd watch it for the cinematography myself.

I think pretty much everything's interesting. :shrugs:

Except Al Pacino in the Merchant of Venice. I don't care about that. I don't even think Al Pacino cares about that.

[Pamela James]

I pretty much agree with your list and I especially do not care about facebook games.
Pamela

[trek]

Well, gee, except your dissing classic vanilla ice cream, I think you've been channeling my care less list.

[Becky]

Hm, I must admit to caring about three points on your list: the cast of the Stephanie Plum move, Inception, and ice creams with ingredients other than chocolate. The rest I could really give a hoot about.

Things I don't care about: potty training updates! TMI folks. Definitely TMI.

[Mike Dennis]

Apart from being a MAD MEN fan, I love your list. My wife dragged me to see EAT, PRAY, LOVE and I was wondering if Julia Roberts would ever get out of India, which of course would be my no. 1 priority if I ever found myself in India.

I would also add Lindsay Lohan, Katie Couric, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (that India thing again), and people who post religious and political shit on crime fiction blogspots.

[Brenda]

A lot of your list could be my list. I loathe much of modern "music" and I just about die of boredom over discussions of "Lost" or any reality show.

I am interested in the Stephanie Plum movies/books and casting.

Though I don't eat it often, I care greatly about lots of ice cream that isn't chocolate -- mostly various classic vanillas.

I am still intensely interested in anything Al Pacino does.

Thanks for this fun thread!

[Em]

I *approve* of this list, but, hmm
...I note that the Cubs did not
make it on!
Could this mean...

[Jeff Cohen]

Geez, Em, I couldn't list ALL the baseball teams that avoid my notice. I was referring to the MLB Network's insistence on running "The Club," an "inside" view of the White Sox, roughly seventeen times a day. For the record, I'm a Yankee fan.

[Jersey Jack]

Judgmental guys with beards.

[Jeff Cohen]

So you don't like James Lipton, Jack?

Judgmental--I was just saying I didn't care! In order to judge, you have to CARE!

[Jonathan E. Quist]

That said, which of us is going to post this list to Facebook?

:)

[Jonathan E. Quist]

For the record, when the Cubs are in the toilet and the Sox aren't, I'm a Yankee fan, too.