Etiquette: It Ain't Just For Dinner Parties

By Dana Kaye

I can overlook many things – morals, values, questionable taste in clothing – but if there is one characteristic I deem absolutely necessary, it’s etiquette. I’m the person who writes thank you notes, who gives my seat to old ladies on the subway, and I never attend a dinner party without bringing something for the hosts. That’s just how I roll.

While the everyday niceties are second nature to most, publishing etiquette seems to have many people confused. So today, I’d like to clear up a few points:

Agent Etiquette:

• Simultaneous submissions are acceptable unless the agent states otherwise.
• If you sign with one agent when others still have your manuscript, call or e-mail the other agents to let them know you’ve signed with someone else.
• Don’t tell an agent they have an exclusive when they don’t.
• If you are unhappy with your current agent, submit the termination letter prior to looking for another agent. Most agents won’t even talk to you when you’re still with someone else.
• Know that the world of literary agents is small and, surprise, agents talk to each other. Don’t try to pull any fast ones.

Book Critic Etiquette:

• Always write and thank a reviewer for a good review
• Never write hate mail or post nasty comments to anyone who posted a negative review
• It’s acceptable to offer a book critic a review copy, but don’t ask them to review your book. Some can commit to reading it, but none can commit to a review.
• Don’t nag reviewers. If they read it, they’d tell you. If they loved it, they’d tell you. There’s no point asking them, “Have you read my book yet?”

Fan Etiquette:

• If you are an author, you treat every fan with the utmost respect. Without fans, you couldn’t be an author.
• Always offer to sign their book, always smile, and if they want to take a photo with you, let them do it.
• Always let your agent or publicist be the bad guy. Let them turn down interview and event requests.
• Answer your fan mail. You don’t have to answer every e-mail every day, and you can have an assistant do it for you. But if fans take the time to write to you, it’s only fair that you write them back.

My biggest advice to everyone in the publishing industry, whether you’re an agent, author, critic, or fan:

Don’t burn bridges. 

You never know when tables will turn. Whether you’re dropped by your publisher, fired by your agency, dogged by a reviewer, or have a bad run-in with an author. You always treat everyone with respect and you always act politely. You never know when circumstances will change, so you never burn a bridge.

Comments

[Janet Rudolph]

Great advice. Translates into all facets of life.

[Shakespeare]

Fantastic stuff. Not a rule is out of line.

[Robin Agnew]

Excellent advice all round, especially the "burning bridges" bit.

[Lartonmedia]

Good one, Dana! Excellent advice all down the line.

[Kevin]

I am okay with being nagged a little bit. With my medial stuff going on, it does not hurt to have a reminder now and then.

[Simon]

Nicely said, Dana. It's surprising how many people forget this.

[Account Deleted]

Etiquette training can be both fun and educational. This post is very informative and I’m glad that I found this post. Etiquette rules are the glue that holds a civil society together. Also basic manners must always be practiced.