Mystery novels I'd like to see

Thinking about the types of characters who populate mystery novels has also gotten me thinking about what would have happened if some of my favorite non-mystery writing authors had decided to dabble in the genre.

The Plot Against American Idol, by Philip Roth - The Fox channel is mysteriously going dark on televisions in Newark, NJ at precisely 8:00 PM on Tuesday evenings, seriously harming the chances of victory for Weequahic rapper Shawn Walker, an American Idol contender otherwise known as "McCarter H." Covering the story is Nathan Zuckerman, recently hired as an arts and entertainment writer for the Star Ledger. While wandering the streets of Newark looking for clues, Zuckerman accidently bumps into the real Philip Roth, creating an irreparable tear in the time/space continuum just south of Clinton Avenue.

Reading Death in Venice can be Murder, by Thomas Mann - Unpublished novelist and European literature professor Gustav von Aschenbach is demoralized by the fact that he has recently been denied tenure at the third tier midwestern state university where he has worked for the past three years. Soon afterward, students enrolled in European Lit 101 start disappearing from campus. Desperately looking for clues, campus police discover a common thread: all of the missing students were found to have sent one or more text messages during the time they were sitting in the rear of Professor von Aschenbach's class. Cafeteria worker and part time criminal justice student Tadzio is the only one who will believe that Gustav is innocent.

Little Women, Big Hair, by Louisa May Alcott - The first installment in a zany new series finds vertically challenged sisters, Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy working at "March Right In," the iconic Seaside Heights, NJ hair salon which the sisters have had specially outfitted to accommodate their diminutive stature. When Laurie (the guy who sweeps the floor) and Snookie (the manicurist) fail to show up for work one day, foul play is suspected. Will a comment that appeared on Jo's blog the evening before the disappearances be held against her? Working together, the sisters plan to get to the root of the problem.

It Can't Happen Here but it Just Did, Whatever..., by Sinclair Lewis - The opening of a medical marijuana dispensary right across the street from the Shady Acres Assisted Living Facility is initally met with ambivalence by its residents. However, when perky social director Mary Jane Levy is noticed to be spending more and more time in the community gardens at just about the same time that Yahtzee score sheets start disappearing from the community game room, tongues start to wag. The fact that resident curmudgeon Cheech Marin seems strangely disinterested only heightens the curiosity.