And Then There Were Four

by Barbara Poelle

So after a lot of soul searching (yes, that is always accompanied by the sound of the martini shaker) I have realized that my time here on Tuesdays at Dead Guy has come to its natural end and so I will be departing gracefully stage left at the end of the month. That being said, I want to make sure that my final 4 entries are as focused, dignified and educational as possible, because if I have been anything on Dead Guy the last two years, it has been focused,  dignified and educational.

I loved blogging these last two years and I think I could be talked into doing it again in the future, but there are only so many hours in the day and my ice kept melting, so to me it is the right decision. But the good news is that now, I can finally let my hair down as I have been so professional and reserved in previous entries.

With that in mind, I want to delve into the idea of using these final four posts to promote setting goals for the coming year. If you don’t ask for what you want in life, you might as well sit out the remainder of the game. Now, this does NOT mean calling your agent and saying, “I want to be on Oprah’s final season” or calling Wentworth Miller’s agent and saying, “How much to have him come over with a bottle of Luksasowa and a bullfighter costume?” (the new assistant there doesn’t know my voice, so it is getting easier to get through) but it means being very clear with YOURSELF what you want, and then doing your own groundwork to get there. That might mean getting very honest and taking a writing class, or realizing that short story writing for two years is the way to get your feet wet and THEN to move onto a larger manuscript. It might mean getting rid of an unhealthy relationship with a critique partner (you KNOW if you are in one) or even an unproductive one with an agent. But when is the last time you VOCALIZED what you wanted? To yourself? To your life partner? Are you clearly defined in your goals?

Like what if your whole life you always wanted to , oh, I dunno, let me pull something random out of my mind here,  say, get attacked by a K-9 police dog but were too afraid to tell anyone about it on account they might think you are bat balls crazy and not want to date you anymore? But then if one day you marry someone who just gets you so you tell him and then BAMMO. HE MAKES IT HAPPEN. So you are rewarded because you took the chance to vocalize your goals, and to establish the correct support system to get you there. Do you have a system that encourages you to grab life by the ears and stuff it into your mouth with both hands? If not, how can you better “staff” your goal?

Now, that K-9 thing is totally hypothetical of course, but just an example to remind you that NOTHING is out of reach in life, but you have to be CLEAR with what you want, and have the correct support both internally and externally to get there.

Hm?

I know, it was kind of a specific example, wasn’t it? But you know me, what with the dugongs and skadgers, I seem to have an active imagination.  

[Whistles and looks away.]

Alright.

Fine. 

Here.

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Mark Phialas]

This blog will be missed.

[Jeff Cohen]

Barbara, we're going to miss you enormously. But after watching that last video of you, I have to add: You are one crazy broad. Keep in mind, you're welcome here anytime you want to drop by. ANYtime. Thanks for the two years.

[Sarah W]

You are one of an awesome kind.

Tuesdays won't be the same without you.

[Noelle Pierce]

I'll be very sorry to see you go--your posts brighten up my Tuesdays.

On a side note, the dog had a titanium tooth? That was a great video; thanks for sharing it!

[Carrie]

Well, I think my heartbreak goes without saying.

That said, the police dog attack. OMG. SO MUCH FUN!

Also - very much appreciated the content of your post.

[Alison Janssen]

We'll miss you, Barbara.

My favorite part of that video is your maniacal giggling after the first Justice takedown. Thanks for sharing! (If your husband ever lines up a Great White shark cage match, please come back and share that video, too.)

[LaurenDeStefano]

Gasp. I cannot believe you just shared your K9 video after threatening my life if I ever acknowledged its existence.

That said, I couldn't agree more. I have had a small handful of aspiring authors (or people just making polite party chatter) ask me what my publishing story is. I like to tell the tale of the 140+ rejection letters, and this one particular agent who said, "Not this time, but hit me with your next project" and how that next project did get me that agent, but not a publisher. And now the NEXT manuscript got me an "almost" from a publisher. And how the NEXT manuscript opened up the magical oak door that leads to the publishing wonderland, and how that manuscript began as a seedling a year before it would be written.

I can't speak for other writers, but my own attitude has been that if what I'm doing isn't getting the desired results, the problem isn't that the people at the top of the ladder just don't get my brilliance, it's that I need to look into ways to improve and/or change my approach.

Also, how soon can you get me on Oprah's final season? I'll be waiting for your call.

[barbara]

That is tentatively scheduled for Fall 2011. I'll keep you posted.

[barbara]

Well said! And until Wenty shows up in my office with a red cape, no Oprah for you.

[Tracy Kiely]

What? The William F Buckley of Tuesday mornings is donning her smoking jacket and strolling off into the sunset? Nooooooo!!!! What the hell is going to get me out of bed now - family obligations? HA! What kind of lousy Christmas present is this?

[Roy Innes]

Add my name to the list of those who will really miss your blogs. You dispel a lot of negative imagery in the minds of your agent- seeking readers.

[Carrie]

In other news, I feel badly for whoever takes Tuesday. Nobody wants to follow the animal act in Vaudeville, doncha know.

[barbara]

Oh, don't you worry. I know who is taking over Tuesday and you shall not be disappointed. And don't forget! We have three more weeks of bizarre postulations to go!

[Anon]

That first comment from 2 years ago is Janet, isn't it?

[Ray Rhamey]

ARGH! I'm removing Tuesdays from all my calendars so I won't know that I'm missing reading my favorite blogger.

Thanks for all the fun and insights.

[Alli]

Nooooooooooooooooooo! What will we do? You will be missed, for sure, but you sweetened the news with that video. I don't know many people who would laugh and get so much joy from being savaged by a dog.

Is it weird to say Barbara has been the most sane part of my Wednesday mornings (Australia time)?

And Lauren, thanks so much for sharing that story. I'm about to embark on the query process (with ms number three) and needed to read something like what you shared. You've inspired me!

[Daisy]

You know, I've always wanted to pull the lab emergency showers (the ones you're supposed to only use if you've spilled chemicals on yourself, because they put out about a gagillion gallons per minute and there is no drain) but it never seemed like the right time.

Hey, anybody have a video camera?

[Carrie]

Daisy, if you want the masochist version of the lab emergency shower, and live near Seattle, go to Banya 5. http://www.banya5.com/press.php

Great Russian spa. After the sauna you can go to the ice cold plunge pool, OR, the even icer colder pull shower. I do the pull shower. Somehow the plunge pool is too psychologically damaging for me. :D The pull shower is easier. You can close your eyes. The shower is at the 2:40 mark in the video.

[Grass Hopper]

Aha, method acting for writers! So, in my next one, a good guy gets hot lead poured into the back of his head. Any ideas on how I can experience that and live to write about it? Anyone?

And, dang, Tuesday will not be the same. All that tweeting sopped up the little bits of time left over for the blog. Now there's none left. Sorry...had to harp, but, like most harping, I don't mean it. I don't mean it.