More Lists To Annoy You (Revised)

Jeff Cohen

A little while back, I got a new comment on my lists of best and not-best things. And since it seems at least some people are still interested in a post that went up last October, I figured I'd get the arguments started once again with a few new topics that might veer a bit from the subject of crime fiction writing in spots:

Again, these are in no particular order. #1 isn't necessarily better than #8 in any category.

Best Songs Built on a Guitar Run

1. Day Tripper
2. Up Around the Bend
3. I Feel Fine
4. Satisfaction
5. What Is Life?
6. A Hazy Shade of Winter
7. Born to Run (with obvious saxophone assist)
8. Oh, Pretty Woman
9. My Girl
10. Layla

Best Actors To Watch in Anything

1. Humphrey Bogart
2. Gene Wilder
3. Bob Hoskins
4. Cary Grant
5. Harpo Marx
6. James Stewart
7. Sidney Poitier
8. Peter O'Toole
9. Alan Arkin
10. Tom Hanks

Best Actors To Watch In Their Signature Roles

1. Alan Alda (Hawkeye Pierce)
2. Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter)
3. Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones)
4. Groucho Marx (Groucho Marx)
5. Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy)
6. Marty Feldman (Eye-gore)
7. Robert Vaughn (Napoleon Solo)
8. Martin Sheen (Josiah Bartlet)
9. Anthony Perkins (Norman Bates)
10. Kevin Costner (Ray Kinsella or Crash Davis)

Best Actors Not To Watch in Anything

1. Zeppo Marx
2. Stewart Granger
3. George Lazenby
4. Desi Arnaz
5. Keanu Reeves
6. Ben Affleck
7. Chris Farley
8. Leonardo di Caprio
9. Keir Dullea
10. Adam Sandler

 

Best Actresses To Watch in Anything

1. Katharine Hepburn
2. Frances de la Tour
3. Jean Arthur
4. Julie Andrews
5. Mary Louise Parker
6. Barbara Hershey (except Beaches)
7. Madeline Kahn
8. Cloris Leachman
9. Mary Tyler Moore
10. Karen Allen

 

Best Yankees I Have Seen Play Live (Go ahead--argue with THIS one!)

1. Mickey Mantle
2. Thurman Munson
3. Derek Jeter
4. Ron Guidry
5. Mariano Rivera
6. Reggie Jackson
7. Willie Randolph
8. Tino Martinez
9. Graig Nettles
10. Don Mattingly

 

English Phrases That Must Be Eliminated

1. Man up
2. But yet
3. Awesome
4. Instant classic
5. Death benefit
6. Hells yes
7. Folks (this is aimed at politicians, especially when referring to terrorists)
8. Hubby (Ask your spouse if he likes this one. But make it clear he can answer honestly.)
9. All-Star Game
10. Word (as if saying, "Yes, that is true. I agree.")

Movies That Could Be Watched Once A Week

1. Horse Feathers
2. North By Northwest
3. Galaxy Quest
4. The Stunt Man
5. Casablanca
6. A Hard Day's Night
7. Diner
8. Raiders of the Lost Ark
9. Young Frankenstein
10. The Maltese Falcon

Brilliant Comedians

1. Jon Stewart
2. Groucho Marx
3. Bill Cosby
4. Lewis Black
5. Elayne Boosler
6. Steve Martin
7. Richard Jeni
8. Robert Klein
9. Bugs Bunny
10. Mel Brooks

Comments

[Lawrence Block]

Affleck was convincing in The Town; seems to me people are still making him pay for Gigli. And I enjoyed Alda in Same Time Next Year and when he's worked with Woody Allen.

But I pretty much agree with all the rest...

[Sarah W]

I would probably mention Robert Vaughn's role as Lee in the Magnificent Seven. And Rio Bravo has been on my weekly watch list for the better part of two decades.

But otherwise, I agree. Poor George Lazenby . . .

[Jeff Cohen]

Maybe I'm just making Affleck pay for being a Red Sox fan; I'll admit it. And Alda seems like a very nice man. It's possible that the category was a little too definitively named.

[Jeff Cohen]

Sorry, Sarah, I'd mention Vaughn's MAGNIFICENT SEVEN role as one in which you're better off watching James Coburn.

[MareF]

I can't argue any of them!

[Sandra]

DiCaprio wasn't too bad in "Inception," but otherwise, ehh....

I've been a fan of Bob Hoskins since "Flickers"!

[Jeff Cohen]

And Frances de la Tour, brilliant as Maud in Flickers!

[Sarah W]

Yeah, that's probably a universal truth, anyway.

[Sarah]

Great to see Karen Allen on your list. She's very underrated in my opinion.

[Toni LoTempio]

Bump up Cary Grant a few notches adn get rid of Kevin Costner and they are great!

[Carrie]

I passionately agree with you on Hubby. I don't think there's another "word" that makes my skin crawl like that one does. For me, it embodies the whole idea espoused by advertisers everywhere that men are befuddled idiots who, thankfully, can be led around by the nose by their infinitely superior wives, or, possibly, their hipster brat children. Incredibly emasculating and offensive.

That said, you want to eliminate Word?!? And Awesome?!? I feel my generation is under attack.

Also, no Tina Fey on your comedians list? Boo!

Also, too (hahahahaha - it's worse than but yet!) - what do you think of Zach Galifianakis? I have not watched his stand-up outside of SNL, but I was pretty blown away by his two SNL gigs.

[Jeff Cohen]

Yes, I want to eliminate Word. In that context, it doesnt mean anything. And awesome is so hideously overused that it now means, I couldnt really think of the right word, so I used hyperbole. As for Tina Fey, no, I dont think she plays in the same league as the ones listed--not yet, anyway. I like Tina Fey, but I got seriously annoyed when she was given the Mark Twain Award last year (dont even get me started on Will Ferrell this year!), essentially a lifetime achievement award, at age 40. When Mel Brooks doesnt have one. And Zach Galifanakis? I dont know enough beyond stuff like The Hangover, which I detested.

[Dale Spindel]

Bob Hoskins riding the cartoon car in Who Framed Roger Rabbit is one of my all time favorite movie scenes. Great lists, even if there were some things on them I don't know.