A tale of two 87 year old Jewish guys

        I'm a pretty big fan of 87 year old Jewish guys - after all, my father, both my  grandfathers and all three of my uncles fit that description at one time or another over the past 40 years.   So I guess it was inevitable that I would be drawn to two recently published mystery novels that each featured 87 year old Jewish guys as their protagonists even though, unlike any of my family members, these particular Jewish guys were both  employed as detectives and lived in the South.  I thought  it highly improbable that these two books should be released within two months of each other but I decided that it would be fun to read them back to back and then report back to Dead Guy readers.  So here goes.

        Released in May, Don't Ever Get Old, written by Daniel Friedman and published by Minotaur, was given starred reviews in both  Publisher's Weekly and Booklist and I was looking forward to the "wickedly funny dialog" promised by PW.  Unfortunately, I found the  puns and Yiddishisms  sprinkled throughout the dialog to be more annoying than funny and I winced at the occasional mean spiritedness that was supposed to pass for humor.   On the plus side, Friedman populated his novel with a colorful cast of potential suspects possibly involved in the murderous quest to take possession of a large quantity of stolen Nazi gold.  The characters were sufficiently  tangled up  with each other so that I was kept guessing until the end regarding who the real bad guys were.   The book had its moments, but I didn't necessarily consider it "star worthy."

            I then  jumped  right into  Harry Lipkin, Private Eye, by Barry Fantoni, which was released by Doubleday with a 60,000 first printing in July.  It too received a starred review from Booklist and although it did not earn a star from PW, the review was strongly positive.   Indeed, the book jacket invited me to "meet Harry Lipkin, the world's oldest private detective, part Sam Spade, part Woody Allen, all mensch."  Unfortunately, Harry Lipkin was such an all around disappointment that  in comparison it made Don't Ever Get Old look like Murder on the Orient Express.

        First off, Harry Lipkin wasn't even remotely funny; there may have been a time when  culinary delicacies like blintzes and lox and bagels  might have sounded funny to those not accustomed to Jewish gastronomy, but those times are long past.   Aside from what Harry ate, a couple of passing references to Jewish practices, a handful of Yiddish words  and the fact that Harry was acquainted with a rabbi, there was really nothing that gave Harry more than the most superficial sense of being Jewish.  Ditto for Norma Weinberger, the wealthy Jewish widow who hires Harry to find out who among her household staff is stealing from her.    Even worse is that the list of potential suspects, a tough black guy, an attractive Hispanic woman, an inscrutable Chinese guy, and an aging white hippy are nothing more than a bunch of obvious stereotypes straight from central casting.   None of them are remotely fleshed out enough to be of much interest to the reader.  The plot basically consisted of Harry conducting a series of perfunctory investigations in order to rule out each of the suspects and I was able to predict what the solution to the crime was going to be many, many pages before it was finally revealed.   Furthermore, the only two potentially dangerous guys who Harry encounters are dispatched fairly early on in ways that are are so lacking in tension or any kind of effort on Harry's part that it gave the impression that the author was just going through the motions as far as any kind of plotting was concerned.   It's as if Fantoni  stitched together a simple series of events without bothering to hide the seams.   Some of the dialog  that ensues between Harry and Norma as they discuss their plan to entrap the thief is so lacking in basic logic that it was not only painful to read but downright insulting to anyone who expects a certain level of effort from an author.

    As poorly written as this book was, what bothered me as much as anything was the fact that the prices of things mentioned during the course of the story were completely out of whack with today's realities.  Examples include Harry's fee of $50 per day for his private eye work, a lunch for two in a  Miami Beach restaurant that totalled $5.00 including the tip, and an in-season  stay in a Miami  Beach hotel penthouse suite that  cost only $300 a night.   I also made the observation that no one in the book ever used a cell phone; this might have been credible in the case of Harry but not at all credible for any  of the  younger characters.   All of this  led me to the conclusion that this book was  written about thirty years ago, with the manuscript  languishing in a  file cabinet somewhere until somebody thought they could make some money off of it.  Or could it be possible that the British Fantoni just didn't know how to properly convert pounds to US dollars?  All of this also made we wonder if  a screenplay based on the Harry Lipkin character isn't currently in the works  and that the book was published as a way to generate some synergy.   That nobody at Doubleday thought it necessary to do some editing to bring this book into the 21st century is particularly galling.

   A couple of final thoughts:

1.    The experience of reading these two books has made me become much less trusting of the awarding of stars by the major reviewing media. ( I also have to confess that my distrust of starred status  has  been reinforced by a  piece of literary fiction  that I am currently listening to on audiobook.)  I have to ask myself if this is because I have become a more discerning reader or if it is because reviewers' standards have become more lax.   A starred   review definitely increases the liklihood that  a librarian will purchase that book for his or her  library's collection.  All I can say is that librarians - and everyone else - should beware.

2.    Has 87 become the new 60?

Comments

[Karen Russell]

Once I read a PW review after I'd read the book, and it was clear that the reviewer hadn't read the book because they said it may be the first in a series... and the main character died. So I'm not at all surprised that the books don't live up to the reviews!

[William Doonan]

As a writer of a mystery series featuring eighty-five year-old Henry Grave who investigates crimes on cruise ships, I'm a big fan of mature protagonists. 87 might not be the new 60, but as Matlock and Jessica Fletcher can probably attest, an older sleuth can be both effective and appealing.

William Doonan
www.williamdoonan.com

[Gayle]

It's all a matter of taste. I too purchased and read Don't Ever Get Old based on the review in Booklist. Unlike you, I enjoyed the book very much. I liked that it had a realistic ending with little chance of a sequel.