Funetik Spelling

Marilyn Thiele

It’s a dull week when the most interesting event I can remember involves spelling, but these are the dog days of August, so that’s the week that was. It started with an advertising e-mail from the company from which I bought both my laptop and my e-reader (the name of which does not begin with “K”, “N”, "A" or "B").  They were offering a camera at a very good price, and I have needed a new one since May, when my old one broke just before an author event. I am not much of a photographer, so I saw no need to rush into a decision this summer.  But now a big family wedding and Bouchercon are approaching, so I decided it was time to make the purchase.

My husband is the electronics person in our household, and I sought his advice for my earlier purchases. Rather than ordering on-line, he spoke to a live salesperson, getting answers to questions and deciding the best options. He also completed both purchases, giving them his e-mail address and, to my delight, his credit card information. This time, having just had another birthday, I decided I was old enough to handle the job myself. I spoke to a seemingly knowledgeable salesperson who answered all my questions, agreed that someone with my picture-taking skills needed simplicity, and assured me that the case came in blue, my overwhelming requirement. Switching the company’s records from my husband’s credit card and e-mail address to mine seemed a little more challenging.

You will note from the first paragraph above that I received (and receive, almost daily), e-mails from this company.  Apparently the marketing and sales departments have no connection with each other; we were at square one with the e-mail address. My e-mail address is “twicetoldtales” at my provider. Knowing from experience that not everyone is familiar with Hawthorne or the name of my store, I was careful to do the old “t as in tango” routine, letter by letter. Two days later, I still had not received a confirmation or shipping notification, and I called customer service.

The woman I spoke to on this call assured me that the order acknowledgment had been sent, but that they had had system problems on the day I place my order. I told her I had not received it, and wanted it particularly because I had purchased a warranty that would guarantee replacement when I drop the camera in Lake Erie in October. She sent the information again, and I did not receive it. I suggested that we double-check the e-mail address. She read it to me, and I requested that she spell it out. Sure enough, they were sending information to “twicetoldtails.” I told her it was “tales” as in stories, not “tails” as in dogs wagging. There was a long silence, signaling to me a lack of comprehension. We went over it letter by letter again, and I received my information. When I told her that I had the e-mail, she apologized again for the system problem two days earlier. When I said I thought the problem was the misspelled address, there was another silence.  

I am no stranger to spelling problems involving names. My first name, which is not that unusual, is frequently written as “Marlin” or “Maryland”; I am neither a fish nor a state, but I have learned to let it go. When asked, I say “as in Monroe.” My last name is so often misspelled that I am sure they no longer teach the “i before e” rule in school; the final “e” is there 50% of the time. If the mail carrier can figure out who “Marlin Theil” is, no problem. There are places where accuracy does matter, and e-mail addresses are an example. My concern is that we have become so accustomed to phonetic spelling in text messages or to a search engine that says, “Did you mean …..?” that we forget that these marvelous machines are not all that smart. My mail carrier can figure it out; my e-mail provider’s program does not recognize “twicetoldtails.” Even the mail carrier had a problem recently when I ordered a used book from another store through Alibris. The package was addressed to “Bloomington” Avenue rather than “Bloomfield” Avenue, understandable since the sender was in the Midwest, but not acceptable to the postal service. The sender informed me that I had made an error when the package was returned to him; I told him I have a long-standing account with Alibris which contains the correct address, and that perhaps he had been too hasty in his writing. It took some persuasion to convince him to double check his sales order. It would seem that in this busy world a little attention to detail could save everyone time in the long run.

I am not one to jump on every grammatical or spelling error in casual communication. Typos are made, we all inadvertently use homophones when our minds are three sentences ahead of our typing fingers, and some people are just not natural spellers. What I am bothered by is the leaching over of this nonchalance into areas where accuracy matters. When I was in school I was told to read as much as possible to improve my vocabulary, spelling and grammar. Newspapers were particularly favored, as we could also learn “current events.” Now I would be afraid to tell a student to use the news, print or on-line, as a learning tool. Misplaced modifiers, incorrect usage, and spelling errors abound. My fear is that in this case, attention to detail is not the problem; it may be that the writers don’t know any better.

Enough ranting. The camera arrived. I can hope that the salesperson was as careless with the credit card number and I won’t get billed. (Unlikely; somehow they are always accurate with numbers, even reading them back to you.) And eye have to go to the store to by some pairs to put on my serial in the mourning, then chase the dear and hairs who get into my flours every knight.

 

 

Comments

[ABE]

Thank ewe four yore thoughtful comments on teh importance of a curracy.

And please don't advocate that machines get the ability to do fuzzy spelling - I get way too much junk and spam already.

And no, it is not 'alright' with me.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

You could also point out that, no matter how many times you tell some people, they will not HEAR what you actually say over the phone, but only what their filters allow them to hear. If I had known the number of times I would have to spell FIRST, MAIDEN, AND LAST names, I certainly wouldn't have married the guy.

[jecbib]

Yes, the correct email address is quite important. I am still so glad I called & verified an email address last week. We'd left our car keys in a hotel room safe. They found them & I needed to email a mailing label to them. What I thought I was hearing on the phone the first time I talked to the hotel & what it really was differed by one letter. If I'd gone ahead & sent it, I'd be calling the hotel again wondering why our keys hadn't arrived!

[roll up banner stand]

Very nice article. I think it's much more important than people make it out to be. A lot of things can go wrong with just a small mistake when it comes to this. Better stay accurate.

[Lynne Patrick]

Thank you, Marilyn, for this breath of fresh air. Maybe I care even more than you do; it really isn't OCD to ask people to spell your name correctly, is it? Especially when it's right there on the e-mail in front of them. My daughter claims to be the only person in the world who spellchecks text messages; she wouldn't be if I ever sent a text message.