Reach For This, Pal

Jeff Cohen

Spare me the jokes.

I've heard them over and over again since the moment Tom Cruise optioned the rights to Lee Child's Jack Reacher franchise. I've heard them from the fervent "Reacher Creatures" and the casual fans, from people who think Cruise is simply a nut and from people who believe that Reacher is the perfect hero.

I even saw them on the very stage at the Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame where I was handed a Barry Award a couple of weeks ago (I'm still reeling from that). And at Bouchercon panels, in Playboy Magazine (I really did only read the article, because it was a direct link online) and on every listserv involving crime fiction for the last year and a half.

The new trailer for the movie Jack Reacher came out a few days ago, and I'm hearing them again.

I've heard the Tom Cruise jokes. I've SEEN the Tom Cruise jokes. And frankly, I'm offended by the Tom Cruise jokes.

Fine. You didn't get (fill in the name of the actor of your choice) for Jack Reacher. Live with it. But you know what? You're not upset because Tom Cruise isn't a bona fide action hero; see the Mission: Impossible films (or at least the last one, which was pretty good). You're not upset because Cruise danced on Oprah's couch or because he got divorced from whomever that was or because he complained about Brooke Shields taking anti-depressants or any other lunacy.

You don't like Tom Cruise because he's short.

I know; I know. Reacher is described in the books as being 6'5". He's a regular mountain of a man. I get it. But if Matt Damon had been contracted to play him, or Kiefer Sutherland, or Samuel L. Jackson, I'm willing to bet there wouldn't have been an uproar, and Reacher doesn't look like any of them, either.

People don't just mind Cruise as Reacher because he's short--they SAY it's because he's short. What does this say about us?

Hollywood is rife with examples of actors playing roles that don't match up with their literary counterparts. Dorothy Gale was, I believe, about eleven years old. Judy Garland was visibly not eleven years old when she played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. When Diana Ross played her in The Wiz, she was really not eleven years old.

Benjamin Braddock is described in the novel The Graduate as tall and blonde and about to turn 21. He was played by Dustin Hoffman, who was not tall, not blonde, and 30 years old. It turned out all right.

In Lawrence Block's books, Bernie Rhodenbarr didn't look that much like Whoopi Goldberg. Was Burglar a lousy movie? Sure. But that's not just because they didn't resemble each other much. Robert Urich was way too good-looking to play Spenser (who describes himself as looking like "a thug"), but a lot of people liked that TV series. Dr. Watson is a woman on TV these days. There was a brief moment when Ving Rhames played Kojak. Anybody want to argue with that?

The fact is, it's still okay in our current society to make fun of short men and fat people. Political correctness (which is really not an awful idea no matter what they tell you) has had its way with other stereotypes, but if you want to dump on short guys and the overweight, have at it. Those who are neither will inform you that not to take offense is to lack a sense of humor.

Well, as a short guy (don't even get down on your knees, look me in the eye and utter the phrase "vertically challenged" or "height impaired" because if you do, I will have a clear shot at poking you in the eye), I'm offended. Honestly.

Tom Cruise can't play Jack Reacher because he's short? Tom Cruise is taller than me. You think the character's entire basis is that he's tall? Get Shaquille O'Neal to play him. If, like me, you think a character is more than a set of physical attributes, then you might want to look at some of Cruise's work. He is, no matter how crazy he might be off set, a really good actor. From all reports, he is a professional and a perfectionist. I don't know him and have no stake in his career, but when he's been in stuff I've seen, he's been good.

So face up: You don't want a short guy in that role because you think it diminishes the character that the actor wasn't born with the genetic advantage of height. You're discriminating against a man for not being tall. Just say it out loud; you'll feel better.

You don't want to see Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher? Don't go when the movie comes out. As Lee Child himself will point out, the books still exist. You can read them and picture the character any way you want. But admit it to yourself--your only problem with the actor is that he's not tall. When you see me, you can tell me that.

You might have to look down a little. It's okay. I'm used to it.

Comments

[Sue Trowbridge]

As someone with a longstanding interest in cults and Scientology in particular, a big part of the reason why I generally refuse to see Tom Cruise movies is because of his ongoing alliance with the creepy faux "religion." More detail here.

In general, it's probably never a good idea to see a movie based on a series you really enjoy. I didn't see "V.I. Warshawski" because Kathleen Turner (whose work I generally have enjoyed) is simply not V.I. to me. Ditto Katherine Heigl/Stephanie Plum. I think Sue Grafton had the right idea when she not only declared she'd never sell the rights to Kinsey Millhone -- she's written her will in such a way that her heirs will never be able to do so either. If "Jack Reacher" brings new fans to the excellent Lee Child series, I guess that's a net positive, but I'll skip it.

[Sue Trowbridge]

Oops, the URL I tried to link to didn't show up. Here goes again: http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2012/07/scientology_john_brousseau_tom_cruise.php
Tony Ortega's blog is now located at https://ortegaunderground.wordpress.com/

[Jeffrey Marks]

I don't watch anything he's in anymore. It's not because he's short, but because he's one of those rare actors who has become such a train wreck in his personal life that I can't see him in a movie without thinking of all that baggage. Dancing on Oprah's couch, the latest divorce and all that's come out (except for him!) He's up there with Lindsey Lohan on actors whose personal lives overshadow their work.

[jenny milchman]

Personally, I can't wait for the movie! But I also wanted to say, Congrats on the Barry, Jeff. That is really, really good stuff.

Especially for a shot guy.

Kidding!!!!!!!!!! You know I look up to you, Jeff, physically and otherwise.

[jenny milchman]

That might've been funny if I had written 'short' instead of 'shot'.

Nah, still wouldn't have been.

[Kevin]

He's a short whack job and wrong for the role. Period. If you want to label it as discrimination fine with me. I don't care.

You see, I am a six foot, 330 pound fat man white man who already knew a bit about discrimination. That was before whatever went wrong (either my back or a neurological deal--doctors still don't know which came first)hit forcing me to ride around in a little cart. Life these days kind of redefines the whole discrimination deal for me.

Kevin

[Gerald So]

I admit to making some Cruise/Reacher short jokes and do apologize if they hurt anyone.

Tom Cruise's height wouldn't be an issue if Child hadn't mentioned Reacher's height and build so prominently in his books. Parker's distinct description of Spenser is how we know Robert Urich was too good looking to match him.

Still, I'm able to put aside what I think of Tom Cruise the person and enjoy Tom Cruise the actor in RISKY BUSINESS, TOP GUN, RAIN MAN, A FEW GOOD MEN...

In the best scenario for moviegoers, Reacher becomes so associated with Tom that they can't imagine another actor playing him. I'm not sure it would be best for Reacher to become one of many loner heroes Tom Cruise has played. I liken it to Jason Statham's playing Richard Stark's master thief, Parker. If you weren't a Parker fan already, you might easily forget Statham's Parker among the many tough guys he's played.

[Brenda]

I do agree with you that too many people feel free to make fun of men who aren't tall. My opposition is solely because
I simply cannot support a movie that will in essence fund Scientology which discriminates against women & thinking. (No painkillers for women in childbirth by the way, just one of the crazy, mean things about this cult!)

There are a number of good exposes on them and I hope more people will read them.

I let Cruise slide for awhile -- BEFORE it was clear just how much of one's purchased ticket price would fund the vicious cult. I purchased the video of "Far & Away," saw it at the theater as well as some other movies of his, but was totally creeped out by the way he had people follow the now newly (or soon to be ex) Mrs. Tom Cruise (even into her family home church) when she had tried to dump him.

I have no doubt he could play the character; I simply will not be watching.

[Tara]

Books are magical because we can create the character's image within our mind regardless of the suggested words an author writes. Sometimes when we see the movies we have trouble replacing the image with what the casting crew presents. A really impacting movie allows us to suspend our disbelief enough to forget all the images and become lost in the big screen. Tall, short, fat, skinny.... the story behind the glitz and glamor should allow us to become lost in the plot.