20 Observations From Chemo

Jeff Cohen

A few observations on my current condition:

1. A bald man who puts on a dark knitted cap and a dark sweatshirt looks like he's getting ready to pull off a heist.
2. When people ask, "What can I do to help?" they are being very sweet, so saying, "Send money" is a bad joke.
3. Hats, surprisingly, keep your head from getting cold. Who knew?
4. People are surprised when you show up. Anywhere. Even if someone else drove.
5. Taking three naps a day tends to cut into one's productivity a little. Just a little.
6. You wonder seriously if it would be easier to be recover if we had a sane president.
7. Food has acquired an unpleasant aftertaste. This has the counterintuitive effect of making one eat more to get rid of the taste (it doesn't work).
8. My fingertips have a tingle to them that I'm assured will go away after treatment is over. But it's hard to make a D chord.
9. My nose can't decide if it's dried out or running like Usain Bolt.
10. You ask people not to say they're praying for you and some say, "I'm praying for you." What effect is that supposed to have?
11. It's very hard to break the habit of washing your hair, even when you don't have any.
12. Being tired and being sleepy are two different things.
13. Writing is hard all the time. Chemotherapy doesn't really change that at all.
14. People ask interesting questions about your hair falling out. Let's leave it at that.
15. Everybody has a cancer story. Everybody. My dog probably knows someone who had cancer. Wait. He knows me.
16. I don't hate doctors nearly as much as I used to.
17. Nurses should be running the country. Assuming teachers are busy. Or librarians.
18. I get sleepy reading. Which is a problem, because I'm revising my own work.
19. Everyone wants to ask about how I'm doing, which is nice. Saying, "occasionally I get tired" doesn't seem satisfying. To them.
20. People are surprised that I'm acting like myself. Who were they expecting: Eli Wallach?

 

Baseball season started yesterday and my team lost it first game. I don't care. I am beyond elated.

Comments

[Aimee]

#21 - Jeff's sense of humor remains intact even if he looks like he's about to pull a heist.

[Jonathan Quist]

Try an orange hunting cap.

You won't look like you're about to pull off a heist.

You'll look like you're part of the work release crew picking up litter along the highway.

[Jeff Cohen]

I’d look like Elmer Fudd’s Jewish cousin.

[Ritaestelle Christiano]

Enjoyed reading your interesting comments and observations, Jeff! :)

[Peg Cochran]

You nailed it with #6. We're ALL feeling that pain!

[Annette Naish]

My team lost their first game too. But, it will get better, at least I hope so. In fact, it will get better could apply to you too.

[Jeff Cohen]

I’m not worried about either one, Annette. Thanks.

[Anne Louise Bannon]

Love and totally agree with #17. And who the hell else would you be acting like? Eli Wallach is completely over-rated anyway.

[Jeff Cohen]

Nothing against Mr. Wallach, but he was him and I’m, you know, not.